Wendy Rose Gould is a lifestyle reporter with over a decade of experience covering health and wellness topics. We live in a world where options are seemingly plentiful, the grass is always greener the next swipe over, and dating manners have all but fallen to the wayside.
The idea is that the person may invest a lot of their energy into wooing you at the beginning, but then begins depositing smaller and smaller amounts of their time, effort, and affection in an attempt to sustain the relationship with the bare minimum effort.
This might look like reaching out less, not taking initiative with plans, or withholding physical intimacy or emotional connection. The penny method is sort of a mashup of love bombing βwhere tons of attention is delivered up front and then drops offβand breadcrumbing, where the other person is led on with just enough to keep them stringing along.
Be aware of these potential signs of the penny method in dating. Some people use the penny method because they enjoy the thrill of the dating chase but ultimately end up bored when the other person does show some interest. In some cases, though, people use the penny method as a form of self-protection caused by an unhealthy attachment style.
The penny method is incredibly toxic. She says this back-and-forth inconsistency can cause the person to second-guess their perception and judgments, create an underlying sense of unease and insecurity, and feel confused about how they should move forward in the relationship. When someone engages in this behavior it becomes challenging for the victim to get a clear and consistent understanding of who the perpetrator truly is. Research confirms this, noting that it can increase feelings of stress, impact personal growth after the relationship ends, and worsen the pain of the ending relationship.
