Have you recognized yourself really liking the person and yet, something just feels so off? What could be wrong? If you come from a background of toxicity in a relationship, then your perspective of a healthy relationship is unsettling.
You know that every person ought to be in a healthy relationship, right? What does that look like? How does this play out in an every day dating relationship? Say you come from a background where you were taught that emotions are a sign of weakness so, you decide to push them aside. Nobody likes feeling weak, right? Yet, in situations where something feels wrong, your learned behavior is to get mad and in turn, it just makes the situation worse.
Spread that consistently over the course of time, you may find yourself craving validation. You become used to that version of validation. Lets say that a new Mr. Mister or Ms. Thing comes into the picture and they have it together!
They listen. They validate. They apologize. This is going to feel very foreign and nobody enjoys uncomfortable situations. It could be a number of things such as:. This list by no means is all-encompassing. How do I not be that way? First, you have to recognize that these are thought patterns. By drawing attention to your perspective allows you to gain awareness of what you truly believe.
Remember in our story, when we identified you learned emotions as a form of weakness. Perhaps that is not you. My point is that you may need to identify what you did learn about emotions. Ask yourself this question: if you allow yourself to be vulnerable with people, what will happen? Here's the skill: examine the evidence.
