I got back from visiting him several states and two two hours flights for the past week at 2am this morning.
Around six this evening, he called to say this:. So whatever we had is over. We watched Netflix while he wrapped the present. I wished him well over the phone, but told him I was going to hang up. My stomach felt like a pit, and there was something thick but permeable in the back of my throat. I spent the next few hours angry. The other person had visited him earlier that month. They were his ex. I have short hair. I thought he just lent them the spare comforter I was using when they visited.
But he never really reassured me. I am asexual. He is not. We talked about it. When I first brought it up, it was the first time I had realized it myself. After a while, he came to realize that I really was asexual, and actually understand that.
I know, because we talked about it. That even if it seemed the same to him, I could tell the way I loved him was different. It was romantic, and not platonic. We were together for about four years. I had never dated anyone before him. We had been dating a few months when I realized I was asexual. I came across someone talking about their experience, and it led me to research more.
My ex-boyfriend is straight. I tried to explain, but it never stuck. We talked about me being asexual then. He asked if I was sure. I was mostly sure, and only grew more sure after. We had sex pretty regularly. It just has its own box for me - a box separate from romantic love.
