Will having an open marriage increase your happiness? The goal I have for you is to have the information you need to make an informed decision. Because your marriage matters. The novelty, newness, and the excitement of what once came so naturally and easily wears off. You can have your cake and eat it, too! Excitement and novelty are shot back into your life, and you can still stay with your spouse! It seems like a real easy fix.
Except for one thing…. It takes purposeful action. There is no status quo in marriage. And an open marriage assumes that you can keep the status quo of your marriage steady while trying to get your sexual needs met by someone other than your spouse.
And an open marriage is not fertile ground to grow trust. But wait a minute , you say. What about all the celebs who have declared their own open marriages, who have said that trust is better than ever before? Let me stop you right there. With respect to Hollywood actors everywhere, when have we ever known the celebrity lifestyle to ever look like real life? You trust your spouse for something. That you are the most important part of their life. You trust that they are reliable. And you trust that absolutely nothing else would get in the way of your relationship.
The funny thing is, despite all the TV specials, opinion articles, and celebrity news out there about the awesomeness and benefits of open marriages, very, very few people actually have an open marriage. Keep in mind these numbers reflect all open sexual relationships, not just marriage—cohabitating, any committed romantic relationship. Not everyone is doing it.
And for those out there who have done it and are no longer, no one has thought to ask them, how come? No one has done any long-term studies to measure overall happiness in open marriages. But much of this is either based on either severely limited research or writers with agendas who just plain bend the numbers. Open marriage goes against what researchers have known for generations about what makes a healthy marriage. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.
