Even as a mom of 3 with a built-in social schedule for my kids and , followers online, I feel it. Dunbar proposed a range from 5 close friends to in your tribe the number of people you can maintain somewhat of a meaningful relationship with.
We have to swim against the technological stream pushing us to stay at home swapping daytime sweatpants for nighttime sweatpants. The rule of thumb in advertising is you need to see an ad 7 times before you consider purchasing the item so we can assume you need to see someone at least times to establish a strong enough bond to form an emotional connection.
I say it. You say it. Time passes. Then I say it again. You say it again. Friendships require frequency! For many of us, our first place home and our second place work have merged. So we need to think more about our third place. A third place is a familiar public spot where you regularly connect with others over a shared interest or activity. The term was coined by Ray Oldenburg in the early s, as increasing work hours and more heavily siloed communities think: suburbs became the norm.
Third places were most commonly thought of as a local bar, a country club, or a religious location. People gain a sense of psychological ownership over a third place. That feeling where you walk in and know you belong - where someone knows your face or name.
I have worked to intentionally create my third places to feel less alone:. I walk to the same coffee shop every day. The baristas now know me. That starts my day with a feeling of connection and psychological ownership. I go to the same gym 3 times a week and am starting to see familiar faces. I joined Base: a social club that allows me monthly interaction with curious and intentional people.
