When most lay people think of OCD, they envision hours of hand washing or compulsive lock checking. But this term is a misnomer, as people suffering with Pure O exhibit numerous, albeit less obvious, compulsions. And while these compulsions are less noticeable by others, they still take a huge toll on sufferers. ROCD is one such sub-type. Unfortunately, the lack of knowledge about the less visible symptoms of ROCD often leads to misdiagnosis.
We are all conditioned by the media to focus on the honeymoon stage of a relationship — the fireworks and drug-like hunger described in love songs, romance novels, and Hollywood happy endings. When faced with a real person, full of flaws and humanity, it can be difficult to let go of the dream of true and perfect love long enough to see the good thing standing right in front of us.
Millions of dollars are made off misconceptions about love every day. Through movies, songs and advertisements, we are fed a dream of love meant to save us from the mundane. We are whisked off on a white horse to a dream world free of pain, suffering, anxiety, and as it turns out… reality. When we are so regularly fed a diet of fantasy, it is no wonder that our anxiety surrounding relationships, commitment, and marriage can skyrocket.
Common obsessions in ROCD include thoughts such as:. As with all obsessions, these thoughts are intrusive and highly distressing.
And in the case of ROCD, these obsessions can, and often do, lead to the loss of an otherwise great relationship with a loving partner. Our clients frequently ask what the difference is between an OCD thought and a genuinely incompatible relationship. Everyone has a friend or relative in a relationship that looked perfect only to see a break-up occur just months later. Likewise, we all know people who seem completely wrong for each other at first glance, but somehow end up happily married for decades.
