Many couples are given poor advice or no direction at all. They can be incomplete, ill-timed, one-sided surprises that catch us off guard. Straight and simple, we need to stop the madness and start being more responsible with how to tell the truth. So why is it that we have different rules for non-consenting hidden sex acts. We deserve to know the truth of how our trust has been compromised. Whether in business, life, or love, fidelity and truth are the cornerstones of trust and connection.
So why is truth telling minimized when it comes to infidelity? As I glanced at a couple sitting nearby, I noticed the man was wearing a hat that said, Trust but Verify! Like a paparazzi, I literally jumped out of my seat and asked the couple if I could get a picture with his hat. Then I took it one step further, I went online and bought my own.
Something deep inside feels cinched up โ re-organized โ like my GPS in this crazy world of deception found its way home. We can consider rebuilding trust, yet we need to Trust but Verify. So, what does that look like for us? The relationship has no chance of rebuilding trust or intimacy without restoring safety and the truth, first.
Without addressing these two critical needs, the couple often painfully settles into being roommates, adversaries, controlling, or abusive when deception is in the mix.
A full disclosure is different than a therapeutic full disclosure. A disclosure can be any type of limited confession. Yet, often it has limited structure or ways of verifying if the document is true or not.
