When Jill and Don first contacted Boston Law Collaborative in early September, , they wanted to explore alternative dispute divorce options as they believed that their 7-year marriage was irretrievably broken. Arriving at this painful decision was all the more poignant for this young couple since they had a one year old son. With my background and training as both a clinical social worker and family law attorney, I could not help but notice some atypical non-verbal cues Jill and Don exhibited.
The manner in which clients choose to arrange their interpersonal physical proximity speaks volumes about their psychological state of mind. Not only did Jill and Don elect to sit on the same side of the conference room table, they sat so close to one another that their elbows were practically touching. They spoke in hushed and mutually respectful tones and gave the other partner ample time to articulate his and her feelings.
Instead of looking at me, they most often spoke directly to one another. As to their communication, the theme most central to both their parallel and collective conversations was their deep love for their son, Alex. Jill and Don left our office that day very different individuals from the two who had walked in just an hour and a half before.
About a week later — and notably it was on September 11th, Jill contacted me and said that she and Don had had long discussions about their future and decided they wanted to change course. That is, they wanted to tackle and conquer their greatest fears about what would happen to their son — and between them — if divorce became a reality; if that day ever came, they did not want to be making decisions concerning Alex borne of spite, anger or vengeance.
Fall turned into Winter and Winter melted into Spring. The document was finalized, executed in triplicate in the presence of a notary, and tucked away for safekeeping just in case it was needed one day. In mid-March, I heard from Jill. We sincerely thank you in advance for your patience and understanding and for showing us there was another way to move forward in our lives.
