With the Millennial generation being so large people born , roughly , there are still people who are struggling to stay afloat in the ever-changing dating pool. They come to therapy to work on themselves, to address their loneliness, and to identify the characteristics of a supportive partner. They wonder if they should stick with someone who has a few warning signsβwhat I call yellow flags instead of red onesβor ghost the person. Choosing to ask themselves, am I settling? Is there someone better?
Is there too much baggage? All which tie into a bigger theme of exploring how to have an authentic relationship when they feel pressure to conform to mind games, hookup culture, and fears of being hurt, cheated on, or tied down. I remember showing my spouse an article last year about how hard it was to date in Denver. We were lucky enough to meet in Denver 10 years ago and man how things have changed! It appears that one the biggest factors for change in the past decade is related to social media.
To be caught up in our own attachment anxiety or trauma. A professional I work with got me thinking when she said that we are all Disney characters trying to find our person, our purpose, and our happily ever after. Millennials were the Disney generation, we grew up on Disney!
We also developed unrealistic expectations about finding our happily ever after. Expectations that the person must be perfect. Prince Charming. That something was wrong if they had to put in effort or had counted one too many misunderstandings. There is a lot of anxiety about what makes a romantic relationship healthy. Characters would profess their love, kiss, feel euphoric, and the credits would roll. End of romantic imagery, end of invitation to highlight the challenges of relationship maintenance.
Instead, Disney gave us messaging about female characters needing to find their partner, their purpose, and their worth in others. So which Disney character are you? Are you Snow White, dating several seven different men while battling the Evil Queen, another woman who sees you as a young, beautiful threat to her happiness? Are you Mulan, embracing your independence and not looking for a relationship, but wanting your family to be proud of you with or without a partner?
