Is it okay to only want to give and not receive during sex? Read my advice about dynamics during sex, consent, power, and non-simultaneous sex. I would appreciate it a lot if you could help! Whenever I have sex, no matter if it is with a guy or girl, their pleasure always comes before mine. With my current girlfriend I like to do masturbation and oral on her, but whenever she tries to return the favor I feel kind of uncomfortable, and rarely get pleasure from it.
Watching them come apart before me is way more enjoyable than any sex toy. However my girlfriend has expressed that she feels guilty about not doing enough for me, which is understandable. Is this even normal, or is there something wrong with me? Is it bad that I only want to give and not receive? Thanks for your question. Your English is great and way better than my [insert any language other than English here].
Getting pleasure from pleasing people is really common and totally legit. Consider how you can talk about things more to make it even more consensual. There are a few questions for you here about when you feel kind of uncomfortable and what that means. Also you might want to think about other aspects of your life too. I think that it might be useful for you to have a bit of clarity for you and your partner s about this.
Perhaps you are in a dynamic where you are the person that likes to give and she is the person who likes to get. What if she likes to give as much as you do, but you take up all the giving space in your sex life?
Is there a chance that even though you are the giver you have actually made the sex really just about meeting your needs? You should both be relying on sex talk and communication during sex but you could also be doing a bit more communication about the dynamic. Loads of people find this useful, including my mate and colleague Meg-John Barker, who wrote this article about why they are a fan.
