Consensual nonmonogamy is now officially mainstream. Predictably, the sneering has arrived too. But is polyamory more common among wealthier people? Are open marriages less satisfying for those involved? We need not speculate so wildly. There is, in fact, a fairly rigorous body of research that offers insight into the ways people live and love outside monogamy, research that can help ground the cultural conversation in empirical reality rather than leave it to freewheeling expressions of preference or moralizing opinion.
The scientific understanding of consensual nonmonogamy actually paints a nuanced and interesting picture. Consensual nonmonogamy is rather common—and has been for at least a decade. One of the most comprehensive sources of data in the U. The surveys are focused not just on Match users; the company just has a vested interest in keeping tabs on the broader dating landscape. A Canadian study using a comparable approach but including married Canadians as well found the same rate of having ever been in a consensually nonmonogamous relationship: 1 in 5.
How many people are actively practicing nonmonogamy at any given time, though? A pair of nationally representative studies from and , respectively found that between 2. Assuming that about 70 percent of American adults are in a relationship , this indicates that 2 or 3 percent of all American adults are, by agreement, not strictly monogamous. This rate may seem low, but it works out to millions of people —similar to the prevalence of peanut allergies.
And that number may be growing. Between and , the dating app OkCupid saw a 45 percent increase in profile mentions of terms relating to nonmonogamy, also according to the Axios article. In December , 5 percent of adults reported being in open relationships and 3 percent reported being in polyamorous relationships , according to data from the polling firm YouGov.
By December , those numbers had ticked up to 6 percent and 4 percent, respectively. But generally, the data point to some kind of shift. According to a January press release about the latest Match. Today nearly 1 in 3 unmarried Americans reports that they have at some point been in a consensually nonmonogamous relationship.
